Revelation 14

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New Testament
Teh Lamb and lotz of chozen kittehs

1 I lookz, n saw teh Lamb, wit lotz of peepz wit Ceiling Cat'z name on their 4heds, srsly!2 Iz some lowd noizez, ZOMG! Teh harpz n stuff.3 Teh peepz wif Ceiling Cat haz speshul songz, when teh bad peepz trai 2 lurns tehm, FAIL. Songz teh Cealing Cat's peepz only, sry.4 Ceiling Cat's peepz iz hiz peepz cuz they not likes girl kittiz, ick. Also His peepz follow teh Lamb n he buyz tehm.5 Ceiling Cat's peepz tellz no lies ethur.

Three Ainjels

6 WTF! A angel sez 2 evryone, "Oh hai, I haz ur gospell!"7 "U scrued, iz judjmentt timez now. U wershippz Ceiling Cat or else. Kthxbai."

8 Anothur Angel! Oh noes! Sez "Babylon fellz down, hooked up wit Basement Cat. U drinks teh wine f teh adultereez now. No I don't knows whut it meanz. Ask teh Babalyn wher u getz it. thxbai."

9 A thurd angell! Sez "Peepz whoo worshipz teh Monstar, getz hiz mark in 4hed or on handz, u big trubble now."10 "Ceiling cat pores sulfurz on u an makez tormentz, haha."11 Ur tormentz, they smellz funny, and is no chzbrgurs wit ur tormentz, and no u can't has napz 4evr eithur.12 Ceiling Cat's peeepz needz paytienz 2 put ups wit teh stink from ur tormentz n be tru 2 Son of Ceiling Cat.

13 A voice sez "Writez this: Iz good bein ded, the ded can haz rests an chzburgur."

Ainjels farm teh urth

14 I seez cloud wit guy on top! Cept he haz crown n sickle. Iz speshul.15 One moar angel, sez, "Harvest time now, now iz time 4 harvst."16 Cloud guy harvestz urf, urf iz harvested.

17 There iz anotherr Angel, wit sickle too.18 And even Moar angellz, sez to sickle guy, "Get me mah grapez, they ripe, kthx."19 Teh angell swingz hiz sickle, getz teh grapez, trows tehm in press, makez teh wine of teh wrath of Ceiling Cat. Yum!20 Teh grapz is Bad Peepz! Oh noes! Bad Peeps squizhed in Ceiling Cat Press, lotz of blood, iz 4 feetz high from heer to Cleevland.

Revelation 14
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