Revelation 16

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New Testament
Ceiling Cat putz hiz angries in sebben bowllz

1 Den some d00d shouted to teh sevn hovr d00dz, "Dump out Ceiling Cat's watr bowl on teh urfs!" Oh noes!! "It is fulled of raeg insted of watr." O, ai was maded scared for moment.

2 The frst hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl n teh peopl who had teh mark of teh monstar gotted sorez all ovr gross!!!! n tey worshipt teh image of teh monstar.

3 Teh secnd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl in teh oshun, n teh oshun turnded into blood n all teh fishiez died. No moar fishiez.

4 Teh thrd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl in teh rivrz, n dem turnded into blood.5 Den teh boss hovr d00d sez: "Dat wuz teh rite fing to do, Ceiling Cat.6 Bcz dem killded ur saintz n profetz. So u gived dem blood to drink. Dey had it comin."7 N teh altar sed "Yes, Ceiling Cat, u did teh rite ting."

8 Teh fourt hover d00d dumpted out hiz bowl on teh sun, n teh sun burnded peoplz up wif fier!9 It hurted tehm n dey cursted teh Ceiling Cat, but dem did not say "sorri u r00l" evn doe he cud stop teh bad stuffz.

10 Teh fifd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl on teh monstar's chair n turnded out teh lietz in hims kingdm. Peopl chewded on dem tungz11 n cursted Ceiling Cat bcz it hurted so much, but dem still wudnt say "sorri."

12 Teh sixd hovr d00d dumpted his bowl out on teh Euphrates rivr, n teh watr all dreid up so teh kingz cud coem from teh east.13 Den I seed tree durdy frogz. Realli dem wuz demonz dough. Srsly. Dem comed out of teh mouf of teh dragn, teh mouf of teh monstar, and teh mouf of teh falls proffet.14 Dem maded sum haxx n dey getted togeddr all teh kingz in teh hole world to fiet on Ceiling Cat's big dai.15 "Haha lookz, Iz sneaky liek a robber! If u stai awake n dont get nekkid u getz cheezburgr! Dont get nekkid, datz nasty."16 Dem taked all teh kingz to Armageddon. (datz Hebrew u knowz)

17 Teh sevunt hovr d00d dumpted out his bowl in teh air, n some d00d in teh tempel sez "All donez now!"18 Dere wuz lietningz n thundr n teh biggist urfkweik evr! OMG!19 Teh big city browk into tree partz, n all teh oddr citiez falled down. Ceiling Cat remembrd Babylon n gived her a bowl full of wien, only it wuz realli hiz angerz.20 Evry ailand runned away. Teh mountenz did too.21 Hail felled n it wuz 100 poundz each! It hitted some d00dz n they wuz liek "Ceiling Cat u suck!"

Revelation 16
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