Revelation 19

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New Testament

1 Den ai heard noyz like pplz shoutin stuffs about Ceiling Cat’s pwnage,2 An laik how gud he is at stuffs. The big bad secks woman has borked teh urths, but k now thx.3 An she is all smokez an stuff laik 24 7!4 Teh 24 d00ds an teh 4 nanimals sed “Oh hai, Ceiling Cat’s talkin frone! Nice work d00d” Kthxbye.

5 An teh frone voice sed, “Ceiling Cat is way kool, an pwns everything. BTW pplz who laik him r ok 2”.

6 An den ai heard a rilly loud noyz. It sed “Ceiling Cat pwns evryfin!”7 “We is rilly happy, kthx Ceiling Cat! Teh baby sheeps is getting hitched soon”.8 “Thx 4 teh new clothesez, btw.”

9 The hovr d00d sed 2 mai, “Taik notez. If u at wedding do, u get cheezburgrs. BTW, Ceiling Cat sed so”.10 Ai sed “kthx”, but the hovr d00d sed “don’t kthx mai, kthx Ceiling Cat. An u know Baby Jesus tellz it laik it is”.

11 OMG, now dere is white horsie in hole in Ceiling! D00d ridin horsie does judgin an wants to give u karate.12 This d00d has teh fier eyez, an loadz of shiny crowns laik teh Queen. Also like Clint Eastwood cos has no name.13 D00d has red dress, an his name is teh word of Ceiling Cat. So he has name, lmao.14 Ceiling armies are d00dz on white horsies, wiv white clothesez on.15 OMG, horsie d00d spittin out soard to kill pplz! An can make dem do stuffz with metal stick! He is stamping on pplz cos Ceiling Cat is angry an wants pwnage!16 D00d has matchin tat an writin on dress, which says gud stuffz about Ceiling Cat.

17 A hovr d00d sed “Oh hai burdies, u want comin to Ceiling Cat’s 4 food?”18 “Is lotz of ded pplz meat, an ded horsie meat tho, so prob just vulturez. An crowz”.

19 An teh monstah an lotz of pplz sez "do you want karate?"20 But teh monstar was pwned, an also teh lying d00d who been makin pplz worshipin idles and stuffs, an dey was frown in teh lake of fier fartz. Byses!21 Horsie d00d killed teh other pplz with his sord, an wtf! Burdies eatin ded pplz meat! An not just vulturez and stuffs!

Revelation 19
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