From LOLCat Bible Translation Project
Gon burn teh lebanon
1 NEDM! But rly, gon burn Lebanon n teh cedars.2 NEDM! Teh othr trees gon cry. Burnded teh cedars. Why? Cuz teh pwnerers are spoiled. Teh firs n oaks from Bashan are teh sad cuz old trees gon burn.3 N teh sheperds are teh sad cuz teh treez gone. JESUS CHRIST ITS A LION GET IN TEH CAR o wait its just a roaring lion cuz Jordan got pwned.
Ceiling Cats comin for u
4 Ceiling Cat sed, feed teh lambs.5 Lambs gon be ated, but teh sheperds gots to slay em n not cry; n teh meat salesmens gets rich, n dont even pity lambs.6 K, Ceiling Cat gon slay teh pplz, and hes not gon have pity ethr. Ceiling Cat sed, hes gonna let teh neyburs do teh killin n smitin.7 Ceiling Cat feedz you jus liek a lamb but he gon kill you with a stick. No, two sticks. He gon call teh sticks Beauty n Bandz cuz its teh hardcoer.8 He alredy killed three sheperds last week. He hated em n dey hated Ceiling Cat.9 Ceiling Cat gon starve you too, k? gon let you die. N wen ur hungry, you gon eat yer neyburs.10 Ceiling Cat gonna brake his stick. Its symbolic.11 So he had a stick, but he broeked it; so pplz knew that Ceiling Cat wuz coming.
So im all liek gon do Ceiling Cats bidding lol
12 So Im liek, pay me, foolz, to proves you loves teh Ceiling Cat! N all teh pplz gived me thirty cookies but I ated it.13 And Ceiling Cat told me to put teh cookies in teh toilet, cuz hes pissed off from just thirty cookies per persn.14 Then hes all liek, BREAK TEH OTHER STICK so I did n Judah n Isral r liek, broked n hate echothr.15 N then Ceiling Cat sed, pretend ur a sheepherder.16 Cuz, Ceiling Cat gon make one bad sheeperd n hes gonna go n beat up foolz all over the place, n eat ther cookies, n tear up the sheepz, n hez gonna be mean to sheep.17 N this gon be an exmple k? We gona chop off arms n poek out eyes n bust up there faces.
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