Zechariah 14

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Old Testament

1 Teh tiem willz cum fur teh Ceiling Cat, wehn teh rotten fishez wil be fixt in ur fayse.2 An I will get all teh kittehz, n put em agens Jroozlem fur battelz, n we is can taek teh hole citteh, n mack on da wimminz n pwn up teh howzes, an den haff teh citteh gwan intew xzilez, but teh udr haff can't has teh cheezburgr.3 Ceiling Cat gon go n pwn teh n00b countreez.4 Him gon put his pawz on teh mountenz in Jroozlem, n teh mountenz gon get brokded.5 N Ceiling Cat cn has valeez, liek longtiem ago, n Ceiling Cat gon cammon wif all da HovrCatz.6 Dat dai, der'z no moar sno n no moar winturz. Srsly.7 N liek, teh Ceiling Cat's gon maek it liek, day + night + srsly sun will be out in nighttime k?8 N teh mad floodz go frm jerozlm to both wais to oshuns n for liek ten months9 k then you know the Ceiling Cat's gon be king again, hes totally comin back lol10 K when Ceiling cat comes hes gon skwish teh lands flat liek panckae, n then gon skwish more n liek mountns, in Jibba n Rimmon n Jrozlem city walls (n ceilings n towers n wineshops).11 K when done skiwshing, men can haz jrozlem again n be saef.12 But srlsy, Ceiling Cat gonna smiet you if you been messin with JRozlem, k? Ceiling Cat can haz yer meat n yer eyeballz n Hes totly gonna scratch yer feet and Ceiling Cat got yer tounge.13 Also Ceiling Cat can haz teh armies and they gon eats teh nayburz.14 Also judah. but rly, at jrozlme, gonna totly get out teh bling and teh grass n buy teh weapons.15 And teh horsies and mules n camels n rinoceroses n stufs also gon get ther eyes n tounges eetn too.16 K so when were done, teh bad guyz is all gon love us n worship us n worhshp teh Ceiling Cat too, with tabbynickle.17 Cuz if they dont worships, the Ceiling Cat they cant has rain.18 Also egypt. If egypt dont worships, no grass and rain and tabbynickles either, and egypt can haz playugs.19 Playugs for anyone else too if they cant haz worships.20 Thats totally when theres gonn be horses singing CEILIng CAT IS TEH PWnaGE n liek, sakrifices.21 Gon eat foodz in Jorezlem, but also some foods for Ceiling Cat. n No More canaanites in Jrozlem, if everone can let Ceiling Cat can has cheezburger.

Zechariah 14
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Haggai Malachi Zechariah 13 Malachi 1
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